Did you get “Nigga Pleeeease’d”??
You’re probably wondering what the FUCK happened, that caused you to be acquainted with the card. Here is a quick-step guide to help you determine why.
1. You got knocked the fuck out.
2. If you were handed a card in person, it’s most likely you were telling a “tall tale”. That is to say…your story was too fucking outrageously unbelievable to be accepted. The person who handed you the card was trying to tell you something without completely burning you to the ground in front of the people you were trying to impress with your story.
3. If you found this card attached to your car, then you should know there is something about your “whip” that causes distress to people who see or hear it. (or both, as the case may be) If you have a chainsaw-fartcan on a mechanically stock busted tired old civic, with an automatic transmission, unpainted ground effects held on with wood screws and zip-ties…and two baby seats in the back… you most likely have, or will receive a card soon.
4. If you are a waitperson at a restaurant…and you received a card (probably in lieu of a gratuity), then you DEFINITLEY need to step up your game, wake the fuuuck up, or quit the field…because something was definitely not right about the way you handle your business. Most card-holders understand the food-service industry…and know the stresses associated with it. But you gotta take care of the peeps that are putting the $$ in your pocket. (And no, I don’t mean the $2.38 an hour Chili’s is paying you).
5. If you were EATING at the restaurant, and you got a card…you are a scoundrel, and probably got it because you did the ol’ “I need the manager” trick to get your meal comp’d…because you have buyers regret for getting too much Papadeaux and feel fat and guilty, and don’t want to pay $60 for a bunch of fried shrimp and dirty rice. Too late. Its done, pay the man and remember next time.